Unclear Expectations Create Drama

Rarely does a week go by that this phrase doesn’t come out of my mouth. Generally it’s a conversation with a leadership team or a single frustrated employee and the response is a knowing nod, a sigh of recognition or “for real” uttered in acknowledgement. It’s human nature to skip important steps in communication, and regretfully a disconnect follows. You can’t get on the same page about expectations with a cat! But there’s hope if there’s two humans involved.

In business and in life, unclear expectations do create drama. Am I right?! I mean, how many times do we have to get stuck in the “Why aren’t the dishes done yet?” or “Are you ready?” clashes. 

In a company with systemic unclear expectations, the cost shows up as lower efficiency, lower quality work, increased burnout, or possibly people quitting! None of that sounds good if you’re running a business, does it?

Okay, so who’s responsible for clear expectations? 

Trick question.

Everyone in the conversation is responsible.

Here are a few places to start though:

In Your Meetings

Name the:

• Kinds of conversation you’re about to have. Conversation for:
  • Action
  • Design
  • Disclosure
  • Celebration
  • …
• Potential unspoken assumptions:
  • Both meeting mechanics
    • Don’t take your shoes off
    • Don’t swear
    • If you interrupt, always circle back
  • And beyond
    • That everyone knows company metrics
    • That customers are happy
• Expectations for commitments
  • When 
  • Where
  • How
  • To whom
• Outcome of the meeting
  • Did we accomplish what we wanted?
  • Review of commitments

In Your Basic Operations

You are running a business that requires humans to be themselves. Humans will be humans, and ultimately, there will be disconnects but doing the following will dramatically reduce them.

• Define responsibilities for each person: what each person is self-accountable for, not just what they do. Yeah, yeah. I hear you saying we all have job descriptions. What my experience is though, is that job descriptions generally conflate what people do and what people are responsible for. Get clear on the responsibilities and then if you have to you can work on how those responsibilities are held by designing a better “how”.
• Make requests clearly: what you want, when you want it, and how it will be delivered. Again, leaders are just as bad at this as employees. When you say, “I want that report pronto,” what does that mean? And by “that report” is it the normal monthly cashflow report, or the one that includes the income statement?
• Surface hidden assumptions: “We’re all safe here.” “We have the resources we need.” “Our clients are happy.”

In Your Day to Day Conversations

Over time in any relationship, work or otherwise, short and bright discussions about what it means when you say or agree to things like:

• Getting something “done soon”
• What exactly “clean” means
• Getting there “early”
• Getting “the report” done – What’s difference between the monthly report and the extended monthly report
• Or any number of other vague statements!

Be bold and actually ask what the other person’s/peoples’ expectations are. Inversely, tell people (with compassion, humility, and a lack of judgement) what your expectations are. You might be surprised by the responses and delighted by the longterm result… lower drama. 

Your turn

Okay – there’s a lot in there and of course no organization is perfect. 

• What are your practices for meetings?
• What causes the most drama in your company?
• Where are differing expectations getting in the way of your work?